He wasn’t coming home today. Not ever will I see his face. No more could I hear is voice. He was gone. ?

this preview is not bad. i can sense a lot of raw emotion coming from your character. but it sort of seems as your going through the motions of writing and your individual voice is missing. anyone could have wrote it. i suggest thinking about what you would do in this situation. then start writing with as much detail as you can. focus for awhile on your main character and her first reaction. what's going through her head at that very moment? it's a good start, though. keep it up, and i hope to hear more of your book in the future :)